Adab Notes

Notes from the Adab Al-Mufrad Class of our Shaykh, Abu Naasir Ibrahim AbdurRauf, Session 213, held on Sunday, Ramadan 4, 1444/March 26, 2023

Disaffection among Muslims

The Shaykh started with a revision of lessons from Sessions 209 and 210 about disaffection among the Muslims.

Islam is a communal religion and its practices are communal. It is a religion that gathers people, connecting them to one another. We cannot practice it alone. Therefore, it requires that peace in the community is preserved so that our practice of the religion can be sound. Anything that brings rancour in the society must be avoided.

Many things can bring people together. However, every friendship will become enmity on the Day of Judgement, except when the coming together was upon Islam or righteousness.

Another thing that can cause disconnection between Muslims is sins. From the evil repercussions of sins is that Allah causes a rift between you and your righteous friends. A friendship that was formed for Allah and goodness will not be broken except due a sinful act done by either of them. The sin may not be directly against the friend, but Allah could punish the sinner by causing his friend to change towards him. Repent to Allah for every sin so that the love between your brothers can remain sound.

The Muslims have immense rights on one another. It is disheartening to find so much this disagreements among the Muslims, the scholars, students, and masses alike. Let us come back to the command of the Messenger – let us not dwell in anger towards one another, let us not envy one another, let us not turn our backs to one another. Rather, let us be servants of Allah. Let us be Brothers.

Hadiths Discussed

حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ سُلَيْمَانَ قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنِي ابْنُ وَهْبٍ قَالَ‏:‏ أَخْبَرَنِي عَمْرٌو، عَنْ يَزِيدَ بْنِ أَبِي حَبِيبٍ، عَنْ سِنَانِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ أَنَسٍ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏:‏ مَا تَوَادَّ اثْنَانِ فِي اللهِ جَلَّ وَعَزَّ أَوْ فِي الإِسْلاَمِ، فَيُفَرِّقُ بَيْنَهُمَا إِلاَّ بِذَنْبٍ يُحْدِثُهُ أَحَدُهُمَا‏.‏

401. Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Two people do not love each other in Allah Almighty or in Islam if the first wrong action that one of them does creates a split between them.

Notes from the Adab Al-Mufrad Class of our Shaykh, Abu Naasir Ibrahim AbdurRauf, Session 210, held on Sunday, Shaban 12, 1444/March 5, 2023

Disconnecting and Separating from the Community of the Muslims

The Prophet commanded the Muslims to never hate themselves. Therefore, do not do anything that will bring about hatred in the community of Muslims.

Partisanship or groupism is not part of Islam, because it eventually leads to hating one another. Allah commands that the believers should not to be like disbelievers who have broken their religion into pieces and parties. Every group seeks to show themselves as better, and paints every other as bad. The Muslims should instead be on a single page.

Do not envy one other. Do not dislike that your brother has been blessed with a good, wishing to take it away from him for yourself. Don’t query what Allah has given to your brother, as you do not know what Allah has in store for you too.

One of the causes of the Shaytan’s fall was his envy of Adam. Then he came to Adam as a friend, but he was seeking only evil for him. Know that not everyone who smiles at you wants good for you. Be like Adam, who Allah has blessed, not like Shaytan who Allah has cursed.

Also, do not turn away from each other or show your back to your brothers. Don’t pretend as if you do not see him and turn away from. Among the implications of this is for the Imam to turn towards the congregation after the prayer and not show his back to them.

These things break the unity of the Muslims. We should be servants of Allah and brothers to one another. Doing these things will prevent the Muslims from being sincere brothers.

It is not lawful for any Muslim to shun his brother for more than 3 days and 3 nights. If you don’t reconnect before the term expires, you are commiting a major sin. The human being is created with the trait of anger and disaffection. Therefore, the three days are overlooked and should be used for getting over any ill-feelings. All complains and rancour should end by the third day. The person who is better in the sight of Allah is the one who makes the Tasleem first, whether physically or virtually.

In addition, do not mutually compete to bring your brother down. For instance, going to buy something behind and offering a higher price, after your brother had agreed on the transaction, or going to propose to woman and badmouthing your brother after she had agreed to marry him.

Hadiths Discussed

حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنِي مَالِكٌ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏:‏ لاَ تَبَاغَضُوا، وَلاَ تَحَاسَدُوا، وَلاَ تَدَابَرُوا، وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللهِ إِخْوَانًا، وَلاَ يَحِلُّ لِمُسْلِمٍ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ أَخَاهُ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثِ لَيَالٍ‏.‏

398. Anas ibn Malik reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do not hate one another nor envy one another nor shun one another. Slaves of Allah, be brothers! It is not lawful for a Muslim to refuse to speak to his brother (Muslim) for more than three nights."

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ صَالِحٍ قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنِي اللَّيْثُ قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنِي يُونُسُ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنْ عَطَاءِ بْنِ يَزِيدَ اللَّيْثِيِّ ثُمَّ الْجُنْدَعِيِّ، أَنَّ أَبَا أَيُّوبَ صَاحِبَ رَسُولِ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم أَخْبَرَهُ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏:‏ لاَ يَحِلُّ لأَحَدٍ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ أَخَاهُ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثِ لَيَالٍ، يَلْتَقِيَانِ فَيَصُدُّ هَذَا وَيَصُدُّ هَذَا، وَخَيْرُهُمَا الَّذِي يَبْدَأُ بِالسَّلامِ‏.‏

399. Abu Ayyub, the Companion of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "It is not lawful for anyone to cut himself off from his Muslim brother for more than three nights so that when they meet, one of them turns his face away in avoidance and the other one turns his face away as well. The better of them is the one who initiates the greeting."

حَدَّثَنَا مُوسَى، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا وُهَيْبٌ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا سُهَيْلٌ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏:‏ لاَ تَبَاغَضُوا، وَلاَ تَنَافَسُوا، وَكُونُوا عِبَادَ اللهِ إِخْوَانًا‏.‏

400. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do not hate one another nor contend with one another. Slaves of Allah, be brothers."

Notes from the Adab Al-Mufrad Class of our Shaykh, Abu Naasir Ibrahim AbdurRauf, Session 209, held on Saturday, Shaban 12, 1444/March 4, 2023

Further lessons from the previous class on disconnecting from a Muslim

1) Our mother, Aisha, did not have to go out for long hours to earn, yet she had a valuable property. And the property did not allure her so much that it was too big for her to give out in charity. Sister, and Brother, do not negate your duties to Allah just to earn a few sums. Everything you will earn has been decreed by Allah, and it will reach you wherever you are. And do not be so greedy that you will find it difficult to give out of your wealth in charity.

2) Be careful what you say to people, despite how close you are to them. No matter how much you love them or they love you, do not allow the familiarity to bring about disrespect. Statements can cause a lot of hurt and harm. Allah commands that we say what is most appropriate at all times, because the Shaytan can twist it to mean something else, or the person may be offended by the displeasing statement. The Shaytan continues to nurture disaffection among the Muslims, because he is an avowed and clear enemy to us. So say what is best at all times.

3) Every Muslim Community must have eminent people that they respect. Preserve the honour and esteem of the elders, especially when those elders combine knowledge with their eldership. The approach of online scuttling and dragging of our esteemed elders must be stopped. If a person commits a mistake, it should be handled within the limits of the Sharee’ah. Don’t go online trying to destroy their reputation and tarnish their images. There is hardly any person you will find that young people have not abused online. Do not destroy the elders’ and scholars’ personalities by calling them names and insulting them under the cover of the Internet. Preserve the esteem of the people of esteem.

4) Being upon the Sunnah does not negate you from being cordial and respectful in the community. Try to connect and keep relationships. Don’t tell people to go to blazes if they feel offended by you. Tirelessly look for the means to repair the relationship and seek forgiveness. Again, you must be humble enough to have people you immensely respect, people that can talk you down without you looking up. Don’t be so arrogant under the guise of fearlessness.

5) When you know about a fault between people, and you pass the blame to the one who deserves the blame, do not stop at the blame. Take further steps to reconcile between the two parties.

6) Before you seek permission to enter a person’s home, you say the Tasleem first. Do not knock first before saying the Tasleem. It should be the other way around.

7) Do not enter upon a woman such that you are alone with her with none of her Mahrams present. This is firmly prohibited in Islam.

It is not appropriate for you to live away from your spouses for long periods. One of the reasons for a marriage is the togetherness. If you must be away from your wife, come home as often and possible. Do not make it exceed 3 months. And continue to work out a way to get and live together with your spouse.

Notes from the Adab Al-Mufrad Class of our Shaykh, Abu Naasir Ibrahim AbdurRauf, Session 208, held on Sunday, Shaban 6, 1444/February 26, 2023

Disconnecting and Separating from the Muslims

Islam hates that Muslims should disconnect from themselves, or do things that will lead to breaks in relationships among Muslims, such as making jest of them, lying to them, breaking a promise, betraying a trust, treachery, insulting their lineage, etc. It is infact impermissible for a Muslim to disconnect from another Muslim, due to a personal annoyance or quarrel, for more than three days. It is a major sin, because whoever disconnects from his/her brother or sister for more than three days, and he/she dies during that period, will taste from the Fire.

But there are exceptions. If you have some authority over someone (such as a parent), and the person does some obnoxious action that has to do with the religion, you can disconnect from them as a form of punishment to them so that they repent. Also, the scholars or rulers of the Muslims (not a young boy somewhere) can advise that a person should be abandoned due to an open evil they commit. You can also stay from an evil person so that their evil, physical or ideological, does not reach you. However, when you hear statements, news, or reports about someone, be sure to verify so you can act as appropriate and not fall into sin.

If you got disconnected from, whether due to a quarrel or a punishment, ensure you struggle to reconcile and repair the relationship. And if you have the right to continue upon a disconnection, reconciliation is always better. So when efforts are made to pacify you, especially when you see clear signs of repentance, then forgive and reconnect.

When you advise someone upon the Deen, don’t just recite a verse or a Hadith once and then expect immediate compliance. It should be a continuous effort. (Sometimes the cause his not listening is emotional and not intellectual such that an intellectual proof will solve the matter).

If you want to enter upon someone, say the Tasleem and then seek permission. Don’t seek permission before saying the Tasleem. So, say the Tasleem first before knocking and not the other way around as is common, as knocking comes in the place of seeking permission.

Hadiths Discussed

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ صَالِحٍ قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنِي اللَّيْثُ قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنِي عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ خَالِدٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنْ عَوْفِ بْنِ الْحَارِثِ بْنِ الطُّفَيْلِ، وَهُوَ ابْنُ أَخِي عَائِشَةَ لِأُمِّهَا، أَنَّ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا حُدِّثَتْ، أَنَّ عَبْدَ اللهِ بْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ قَالَ فِي بَيْعٍ، أَوْ عَطَاءٍ، أَعْطَتْهُ عَائِشَةُ‏:‏ وَاللَّهِ لَتَنْتَهِيَنَّ عَائِشَةُ أَوْ لَأَحْجُرَنَّ عَلَيْهَا، فَقَالَتْ‏:‏ أَهُوَ قَالَ هَذَا‏؟‏ قَالُوا‏:‏ نَعَمْ، قَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ‏:‏ فَهُوَ لِلَّهِ نَذْرٌ أَنْ لاَ أُكَلِّمَ ابْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ كَلِمَةً أَبَدًا، فَاسْتَشْفَعَ ابْنُ الزُّبَيْرِ بِالْمُهَاجِرِينَ حِينَ طَالَتْ هِجْرَتُهَا إِيَّاهُ، فَقَالَتْ‏:‏ وَاللَّهِ، لاَ أُشَفِّعُ فِيهِ أَحَدًا أَبَدًا، وَلاَ أُحَنِّثُ نَذْرِي الَّذِي نَذَرْتُ أَبَدًا‏.‏ فَلَمَّا طَالَ عَلَى ابْنِ الزُّبَيْرِ كَلَّمَ الْمِسْوَرَ بْنَ مَخْرَمَةَ وَعَبْدَ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنَ الأَسْوَدِ بْنِ يَغُوثَ، وَهُمَا مِنْ بَنِي زُهْرَةَ، فَقَالَ لَهُمَا‏:‏ أَنْشُدُكُمَا بِاللَّهِ إِلاَّ أَدْخَلْتُمَانِي عَلَى عَائِشَةَ، فَإِنَّهَا لاَ يَحِلُّ لَهَا أَنْ تَنْذِرَ قَطِيعَتِي، فَأَقْبَلَ بِهِ الْمِسْوَرُ وَعَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ مُشْتَمِلَيْنِ عَلَيْهِ بِأَرْدِيَتِهِمَا، حَتَّى اسْتَأْذَنَا عَلَى عَائِشَةَ فَقَالاَ‏:‏ السَّلاَمُ عَلَيْكِ وَرَحْمَةُ اللهِ وَبَرَكَاتُهُ، أَنَدْخُلُ‏؟‏ فَقَالَتْ عَائِشَةُ‏:‏ ادْخُلُوا، قَالاَ‏:‏ كُلُّنَا يَا أُمَّ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ‏؟‏ قَالَتْ‏:‏ نَعَمْ، ادْخُلُوا كُلُّكُمْ‏.‏ وَلاَ تَعْلَمُ عَائِشَةُ أَنَّ مَعَهُمَا ابْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ، فَلَمَّا دَخَلُوا دَخَلَ ابْنُ الزُّبَيْرِ فِي الْحِجَابِ، وَاعْتَنَقَ عَائِشَةَ وَطَفِقَ يُنَاشِدُهَا يَبْكِي، وَطَفِقَ الْمِسْوَرُ وَعَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ يُنَاشِدَانِ عَائِشَةَ إِلاَّ كَلَّمَتْهُ وَقَبِلَتْ مِنْهُ، وَيَقُولاَنِ‏:‏ قَدْ عَلِمْتِ أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم نَهَى عَمَّا قَدْ عَلِمْتِ مِنَ الْهِجْرَةِ، وَأَنَّهُ لاَ يَحِلُّ لِلرَّجُلِ أَنْ يَهْجُرَ أَخَاهُ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثِ لَيَالٍ‏.‏ قَالَ‏:‏ فَلَمَّا أَكْثَرُوا التَّذْكِيرَ وَالتَّحْرِيجَ طَفِقَتْ تُذَكِّرُهُمْ وَتَبْكِي وَتَقُولُ‏:‏ إِنِّي قَدْ نَذَرْتُ وَالنَّذْرُ شَدِيدٌ، فَلَمْ يَزَالُوا بِهَا حَتَّى كَلَّمَتِ ابْنَ الزُّبَيْرِ، ثُمَّ أَعْتَقَتْ بِنَذْرِهَا أَرْبَعِينَ رَقَبَةً، ثُمَّ كَانَتْ تَذْكُرُ بَعْدَ مَا أَعْتَقَتْ أَرْبَعِينَ رَقَبَةً فَتَبْكِي حَتَّى تَبُلَّ دُمُوعُهَا خِمَارَهَا‏.‏

397. 'Awf ibn al-Harith ibn at-Tufayl, the nephew of 'A'isha, reported that 'A'isha was told that 'Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr had said about something which 'A'isha was selling - or giving away as a gift, "By Allah, if she does not stop, I will debar her from disposing of her property!" She asked, "Is that truly so?" "Yes," they replied. 'A'isha exclaimed, "I vow to Allah that I will never again speak a single word to Ibn az-Zubayr!" When this desertion lasted long, 'Abdullah bin Az-Zubair sought intercession from the Mahajireen with her, but she said: "By Allah I will not ever accept the intercession of anyone for him, and I will not ever break my vow that I have vowed." When it went on long for Ibn Az-Zubair, he spoke to Al-Miswar bin Makhramah and 'Abdur-Rahman bin Al-Aswad bin Yaghut and they were from Bani Zuhrah. So he said to them: "I beseech you in the Name of Allah that you enter me upon (the place of) 'Aishah because it is unlawful for her to vow to sever relations with me." So Al-Miswar and 'Abdur-Rahman approached with him under their upper garments until they sought her permission, saying: "As-salamu 'alaiki wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu! Shall we come in?" 'Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) said: "Come in," They asked: "All of us, o mother of the believers?" She said: "Yes all of you," and she did know that Ibn Az-Zubair was with them. So, when they entered, Ibn Az-Zubair entered the screened place and hugged 'Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) and began beseeching her and wept. And Al-Miswar and 'Abdur-Rahman began to plead her to but speak to him and to accept from him, also saying to her: "You know that the Messenger Allah ﷺ forbade what you know of abandonment and that it is not permissible for a man to abandon his brother over three nights." He said: So when they did a great deal of reminding and urging, she began remind them and weep, saying: "I have made a vow which is a matter of very serious nature." They persisted in their appeal till she spoke with 'Abdullah bin Az-Zubair. Then she freed forty slaves as an expiation for breaking her vow. Later on she would remember, after freeing forty slaves, then she would weep so much that her veil would become wet with tears.

Notes from the Adab Al-Mufrad Class of our Shaykh, Abu Naasir Ibrahim AbdurRauf, Session 207, held on Saturday, Shaban 5, 1444/February 25, 2023

Abusing People’s Lineages

Some people, in an attempt to raise their status in the society, abuse and talk down on people’s lineages. This act comprises three wrongs:

• Self-amazement, due to arrogance borne out of ignorance
• The abuse itself, as the Prophet has informed us that a believer cannot be one who habitually abuses
• It breaks relationships

Being a person of the Sunnah should not be just upon a claim. It is based on the actions we make. A lot of what we see among the young people today ascribing to the Sunnah are just claims. Do not backbite, slander, abuse, or look down on others.

Two things will remain among the Muslims despite being from the ways of ignorance: Wailing over the dead and casting aspersions at people’s pedigree and lineages.

Don’t insult people’s lineages, lines of descent, or family history. Any noble lineage you have was not chosen by you but gifted by Allah. Don’t look down on anyone. Don’t think you are better than others. The index of superiority with Allah is Taqwa, and that is in the heart. Don’t insult anyone because he can be better in the sight of Allah than you. Allah commands that you drop your shoulder in humility to your brother. If you cannot claim that you fear Allah the most, then what right do you have to raise your shoulders?

It is not wrong that an individual loves his tribe or race or country. However, it is not permissible to be in support of a group of people upon an evil or injustice just because they are from your tribe. Do not allow tribal affiliations to destroy the our center point which is Islam, or the coming together upon goodness. Helping people because they are from your tribe is not Tribalism. However, blindly supporting them regardless of what is true or right is tribalism which is impermissible.

There is no reason whatsoever for a Muslim to commit suicide. It is not an option at all. Close that door. Whoever commits suicide will be punished continuously with the means with which the suicide was committed.

Assalam Alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Hadiths Discussed

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَاصِمٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَجْلاَنَ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏:‏ شُعْبَتَانِ لاَ تَتْرُكُهُمَا أُمَّتِي‏:‏ النِّيَاحَةُ وَالطَّعْنُ فِي الأَنْسَابِ

395. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "There are two courses that my Community will not abandon: wailing and attacking a person's lineage."

حَدَّثَنَا زَكَرِيَّا، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا الْحَكَمُ بْنُ الْمُبَارَكِ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا زِيَادُ بْنُ الرَّبِيعِ قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنِي عَبَّادٌ الرَّمْلِيُّ قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَتْنِي امْرَأَةٌ يُقَالُ لَهَا‏:‏ فُسَيْلَةُ، قَالَتْ‏:‏ سَمِعْتُ أَبِي يَقُولُ‏:‏ قُلْتُ‏:‏ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، أَمِنَ الْعَصَبِيَّةِ أَنْ يُعِينَ الرَّجُلُ قَوْمَهُ عَلَى ظُلْمٍ‏؟‏ قَالَ‏:‏ نَعَمْ‏.

396. A woman called Fusayla said that she heard her father say, "I asked, 'Messenger of Allah, is it part of disobedience for a man to help his people in something which is unjust?' 'Yes,' he replied."

Notes from the Adab Al-Mufrad Class of our Shaykh, Abu Naasir Ibrahim AbdurRauf, Session 206, held on Sunday, Rajab 28, 1444/February 19, 2023

Lying to someone who trusts you, and Making a promise you know you will break

It is a mighty betrayal to tell a lie to your brother, and he thinks you are telling the truth so he believes you. He trusted you completely and you betrayed the trust. You also betrayed the trust of the Faith that compels you to tell the truth at all times. These betrayals are from the ways of the hypocrite. He routinely tells lies, breaks promises, and betrays trusts.

People who sell things online should beware. Do not tell lies about your products just so you can sell. Do not invite people to invest in a business when you know their money is not safe. When the people believe you and act on your advise, you have done a great great betrayal.

The Prophet forbade us from incessant arguments with our brothers and making jest of them. We are in the generation of argumentative people, those who never let anything go. They want their opinions to always dominate so they argue all the time. In the guise of discussing knowledge, you go on to argue and further insult your brothers. This is not part of the Sunnah.

Do not also promise your brother, and then break the promise. And always add Insha Allah, while firmly intending to fulfill your promise.

Assalam Alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Hadiths Discussed

حَدَّثَنَا حَيْوَةُ بْنُ شُرَيْحٍ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا بَقِيَّةُ، عَنْ ضُبَارَةَ بْنِ مَالِكٍ الْحَضْرَمِيِّ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنِ جُبَيْرِ بْنِ نُفَيْرٍ، أَنَّ أَبَاهُ حَدَّثَهُ، أَنَّ سُفْيَانَ بْنَ أُسَيْدٍ الْحَضْرَمِيَّ حَدَّثَهُ، أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ‏:‏ كَبُرَتْ خِيَانَةً أَنْ تُحَدِّثَ أَخَاكَ حَدِيثًا هُوَ لَكَ مُصَدِّقٌ، وَأَنْتَ لَهُ كَاذِبٌ‏

393. Sufyan ibn Usayd al-Hadrami reported that he heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, "It is great treachery to tell something to your brother so that he believes you when you are lying to him."

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ الْمُحَارِبِيُّ، عَنْ لَيْثٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ الْمَلِكِ، عَنْ عِكْرِمَةَ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ‏:‏ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم‏:‏ لاَ تُمَارِ أَخَاكَ، وَلاَ تُمَازِحْهُ، وَلاَ تَعِدْهُ مَوْعِدًا فَتُخْلِفَهُ

394. Ibn 'Abbas reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Do not dispute with your brother. Do not make fun of him. Do not make a promise to him and then break it."

Notes from the Adab Al-Mufrad Class of our Shaykh, Abu Naasir Ibrahim AbdurRauf, Session 205, held on Saturday, Rajab 27, 1444/February 18, 2023

Maintaining Relationships

Enduring hurt from people is very hard. It becomes harder when the hurt comes from avenues you did not expect. However, learn endurance, patience and forbearance by remembering that people greater and more significant than you were also hurt, yet they were patient.

Good relationships between the Muslims is so critical in Islam – between spouses, between parents and children, between siblings, between family members, between friends, between colleagues, between fellow students, between peers, among scholars, etc. If the relationship is good, endeavour to smoothen it and make it better. If the relationship is sour, endeavour to rectify it. If your own relationships are optimal, endeavour to help others repair theirs. The Prophet informed us that doing these has a better reward, status, virtue, and rank before Allah than making supererogatory prayers, fasting, and charity.

Maintain and help to maintain good relationships. Some people pray (Naafil) a lot and fast (Naafil) a lot, yet are terrible at relationship building, and sometime are the ones who cause their relationships and those of others to falter. Know that building, maintaining, and rectifying relationships are better than all those other supererogatory worship that you do.

Destroying healthy relationships is a means of destroying the religious commitment of the people. Learning the religion and other acts of goodness such as visiting, giving gifts, smiling at one another, saying good words, etc, are all impacted when relationships are destroyed.

It is so common nowadays among young people who ascribe themselves to the Sunnah to destroy their own relationships at a whim, or be the causes of destroying other people’s relationships. On the social media, you see a lot of insults, tale-bearing, and disaffection among the Muslims, even among knowledgeable people who both call to the Sunnah. You see people cast foul words at their fellow Muslims. Sheath your swords, O Muslims! Reconcile and rectify the faults amongst yourselves!

Allah orders the Muslims to fear and be conscious of Him at all times, and to sort out their differences (Q8:1). This is a restriction for the Musliims. We have no choice but to remain conscious of Allah, obeying His commands and avoiding His prohibitions. We also have no choice but to reconcile among ourselves, sustain our good relationships, and sort out any disagreements. However you must note that if you dedicate yourself to reconciling the Muslims, be sure that you are being sincere to Allah and are not doing it for any material benefit.

O Muslims! Beware, and do not be the Shaytan that will break relationships and cause the people’s religion to become defective.

Hadiths Discussed
حَدَّثَنَا صَدَقَةُ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو مُعَاوِيَةَ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ عَمْرِو بْنِ مُرَّةَ، عَنْ سَالِمِ بْنِ أَبِي الْجَعْدِ، عَنْ أُمِّ الدَّرْدَاءِ، عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏:‏ أَلاَ أُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِدَرَجَةٍ أَفْضَلَ مِنَ الصَّلاَةِ وَالصِّيَامِ وَالصَّدَقَةِ‏؟‏ قَالُوا‏:‏ بَلَى، قَالَ‏:‏ صَلاَحُ ذَاتِ الْبَيْنِ، وَفَسَادُ ذَاتِ الْبَيْنِ هِيَ الْحَالِقَةُ‏.

391. Abu'd-Darda' reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "Shall I tell you a degree better than prayer, fasting and sadaqa?" "Yes," they replied. He went to say, Improving a state of friendship. Causing discord in a state of friendship is what shaves things away."

حَدَّثَنَا مُوسَى، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا عَبَّادُ بْنُ الْعَوَّامِ، قَالَ‏:‏ أَخْبَرَنَا سُفْيَانُ بْنُ الْحُسَيْنِ، عَنِ الْحَكَمِ، عَنْ مُجَاهِدٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ‏:‏ ‏{‏فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَأَصْلِحُوا ذَاتَ بَيْنِكُمْ‏}‏، قَالَ‏:‏ هَذَا تَحْرِيجٌ مِنَ اللهِ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ أَنْ يَتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَأَنْ يُصْلِحُوا ذَاتَ بَيْنِهِمْ‏.‏

392. "Fear Allah and put things right between you," (8:1), Ibn 'Abbas said, "This is an injunction from Allah to the believers to fear Allah and to put things right between them."

Notes from the Adab Al-Mufrad Class of our Shaykh, Abu Naasir Ibrahim AbdurRauf, Session 204, held on Sunday, Rajab 21, 1444/February 12, 2023

It is not from the character of the Muslim to tell lies, whether in circumstances of seriousness or circumstances of play or jokes. Beware of telling lies.

Make good people your friends. Keep the company of good, righteous people. But know that, no matter how good they are, they will hurt you sometimes. Prepare to be patient and bear the hurt for the sake of Allah. Learn to do this, because it is easier said than done. You too may be the one who hurts them sometimes.

Relate with people. If you are naturally introverted, strive for the sake of Allah to open up to interactions with others. Say good words to them, make the Tasleem, advise them, relieve their worries, teach them, transact with them, assist them, and be a person of benefit to them.

When you relate with people, always make it a point to bring about benefit to or ward off harm from them. This is what makes the one who mixes with people better than the one who does not, all other things being equal. But do not mix with a person you cannot influence positively, who will instead influence you negatively. Keep away from such people.

No one or being patiently bears insults and hurtful statements like Allah does. Allah is the Most Patient (As-Sabur). The people impudently ascribe a child to Him even though He repeatedly said He does not have offsprings, still He overlooks this and continuously provide for them. Yet, no one is a god to anyone else. If the Lord of all that exists bears heinous sins without withholding His bounties, let us try to overlook people’s faults and continue to bring about benefits to them.

When you hear anyone planning or saying an evil thing that may harm the community, report it to those in authority. Likewise, if you hear something evil about a person who you know only good of, inform the person and clarify the matter. And if you hear a false or evil news about yourself, try to bear the pain with patience.

Assalam Alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Hadiths Discussed
حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، عَنْ سُفْيَانَ قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنِي الأَعْمَشُ، عَنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ جُبَيْرٍ، عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ السُّلَمِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِي مُوسَى، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏:‏ لَيْسَ أَحَدٌ، أَوْ لَيْسَ شَيْءٌ، أَصْبَرَ عَلَى أَذًى يَسْمَعُهُ مِنَ اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ، وَإِنَّهُمْ لَيَدَّعُونَ لَهُ وَلَدًا، وَإِنَّهُ لَيُعَافِيهِمْ وَيَرْزُقُهُمْ‏.‏

389. Abu Musa reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "No one - nothing - is more patient in enduring an injury which he hears than Allah Almighty. They claim that He has a son, and yet He still cures them and provides for them."

حَدَّثَنَا عُمَرُ بْنُ حَفْصٍ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا أَبِي، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا الأَعْمَشُ قَالَ‏:‏ سَمِعْتُ شَقِيقًا يَقُولُ‏:‏ قَالَ عَبْدُ اللهِ‏:‏ قَسَمَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قِسْمَةً، كَبَعْضِ مَا كَانَ يَقْسِمُ، فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ‏:‏ وَاللَّهِ، إِنَّهَا لَقِسْمَةٌ مَا أُرِيدَ بِهَا وَجْهَ اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ، قُلْتُ أَنَا‏:‏ لَأَقُولَنَّ لِلنَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم، فَأَتَيْتُهُ، وَهُوَ فِي أَصْحَابِهِ، فَسَارَرْتُهُ، فَشَقَّ ذَلِكَ عَلَيْهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم وَتَغَيَّرَ وَجْهُهُ، وَغَضِبَ، حَتَّى وَدِدْتُ أَنِّي لَمْ أَكُنْ أَخْبَرَتْهُ، ثُمَّ قَالَ‏:‏ قَدْ أُوذِيَ مُوسَى بِأَكْثَرَ مِنْ ذَلِكَ فَصَبَرَ‏.

390. 'Abdullah said, "The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, swore an oath like one of the oaths that people swear and a man of the Ansar said, 'By Allah, it is not an oath by which the Face of Allah Almighty is desired." I said, 'I will tell the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. I went to him while he was with his Companions and I spoke to him in confidence. It clearly affected him greatly, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and his face changed colour so that I wished that I had not told him. Then he said, 'Musa was injured with greater than that and he endured it.'"

Notes from the Adab Al-Mufrad Class of our Shaykh, Abu Naasir Ibrahim AbdurRauf, Session 203, held on Sunday, Rajab 14, 1444/February 5, 2023

From the benefits of being honest and truthful are the following:
1) He will be documented with Allah as a Sideeq
2) He will only attract honest people to their circle of friends
3) Honesty brings about tranquility, calmness, steadfastness, and thee removal of doubts
4) On the Day of Judgement, the people of honesty will benefit from their honesty. Their deserving reward in the Paradise

The methodology and manners of the people of the Sunnah is that lying is never acceptable or appropriate, when serious or when joking. Keep to truthfulness always.

The Muslim who mixes and relates with people – his wives, children, relatives, neighbors, bosses, colleagues, subordinates, friends, etc, and is patient with the hurt they cause is better than the one who does not relate and mix with people and is not patient with the displeasures they cause. A person acquires a lot of reward from mixing with people. He brings benefit to the people and takes benefit from them. He speaks good words to them, shakes their hands, give them from his wealth, educates them, influences them to do better, and patiently bears the harm they cause.

One sure thing is that if you mix and relate with people, you will see things that you do not like. As long as there is someone else with you, a spouse or parent or child, expect to receive some displeasure. You may also be the cause of displeasure to the other person.

When you sit for self-appraisal, evaluate yourself. Are you a person of lying or truthfulness? Are you a means of benefit or harm to others? Do you hold grudges or tolerate people’s excesses? If you are dishonest, repent and never return to lies. If you can’t bear people, pray and learn to be patient.

Our current times are full of lies. The entertainment industry is an institution of fabrication. The political arena is filled with untruths. But in Islam, the end does not justify the means. The means and the end must be lawful. The Muslims should try to reduce the falsities and conjectures in the society.

The Muslims have a very rich and copiously documented history. We have volumes and volumes of documentation about the people and events the make up our history – the prophets, the companions, the early Muslims, the scholars, the generals, the rulers, the scientists, ordinary people, etc. There are also stories of non-Muslims that accomplished great things in the worldly sense. There is a sufficient guidance and messages in real events that we can learn from. We do not need to concoct falsehoods in order to pass lessons across.

Assalam Alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Hadiths Discussed

حَدَّثَنَا آدَمُ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ يَحْيَى بْنِ وَثَّابٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏:‏ الْمُؤْمِنُ الَّذِي يُخَالِطُ النَّاسَ، وَيَصْبِرُ عَلَى أَذَاهُمْ، خَيْرٌ مِنَ الَّذِي لاَ يُخَالِطُ النَّاسَ، وَلاَ يَصْبِرُ عَلَى أَذَاهُمْ‏.‏

388. Ibn 'Umar reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "The believer who mixes with people and endures their injury is better than the person who does not mix with people nor endure their injury."

Notes from the Adab Al-Mufrad Class of our Shaykh, Abu Naasir Ibrahim AbdurRauf, Session 202, held on Saturday, Rajab 13, 1444/February 4, 2023

Being truthful, honest, sincere, and straightforward is an obligation upon the Muslims. Stick to truthfulness in both your words and deeds. Do not be insincere or double-mouthed. Say things as they are. Be clear, true, and unambiguous in your words and actions.

Truthfulness or Honesty in Islam has to do with the mind (honesty in intention), the tongue (honesty in speech) and the limbs (honesty in actions). A person may be sincere in some but leave off the others. The Muslim must be completely truthful and honest.

The first beneficiary of this trait is the doer. Your mind will be clear and at peace. Not being true, to oneself and others, is a source of depression and sadness for many nowadays.

Be honest and truthful, for that leads to piety and righteousness, which then brings one to the Paradise. An individual continues to be upon this until the person is written with Allah as a Sideeq,. which is the highest station a person can attain after Prophethood.

Let us all go back and ponder. Are you clear that your intention is for Allah? Are you clear and truthful in your speech? Are you clear and sincere in your actions? Always be exact and say things as they are. When in doubt, be clear to your listeners that you are in doubt. When you don’t know, say you don’t know. Do not be given to confusion thereby causing confusion.

Be warned; keep away from lying. Lying means altering the reality. Again, this applies to the mind, the tongue, and the limbs. Beware of lying, as it makes one evil, wicked, and sinful. When you investigate evil characters – thieves, murderers, kidnappers, etc – you will realize that lying is a major trait of theirs. This wickedness leads to nowhere but the Fire. A person goes on lying until he is written as a Liar with Allah. Liars eventually deceive themselves, believe their lies, and become consumed by their lies.

A person is also a liar when he continues to spread the lies of liars. Many people will fall into this category. A large percentage of those who transmit news on the social media are liars. Do not become a liar by transmitting falsehoods.

We are already used to telling lies, under many guises. But lying is never appropriate, whether in seriousness or in a joke. Do not engage in the popular skits-making or comedy or entertainment as these involve lying and untruths. Leave these trades and know that a person who leaves something for the sake of Allah, Allah will provide something better. Do not also lie by promising your child a thing, and then not fulfilling the promise.

Be clear and straightforward. Allah will put His blessings in your transactions, rectify your deeds, and forgive your actions.

Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

Hadiths Discussed

حَدَّثَنَا مُسَدَّدٌ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ دَاوُدَ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ أَبِي وَائِلٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ‏:‏ عَلَيْكُمْ بِالصِّدْقِ، فَإِنَّ الصِّدْقَ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْبِرِّ، وَإِنَّ الْبِرَّ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْجَنَّةِ، وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ يَصْدُقُ حَتَّى يُكْتَبَ عِنْدَ اللهِ صِدِّيقًا، وَإِيَّاكُمْ وَالْكَذِبَ، فَإِنَّ الْكَذِبَ يَهْدِي إِلَى الْفُجُورِ، وَالْفُجُورَ يَهْدِي إِلَى النَّارِ، وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيَكْذِبُ حَتَّى يُكْتَبَ عِنْدَ اللهِ كَذَّابًا‏.‏

386. 'Abdullah reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "You must be truthful. Truthfulness leads to dutifulness and dutifulness leads to the Garden. A man continues to tell the truth until he is written as a siddiq with Allah. Beware of lying. Lying leads to deviance and deviance leads to the Fire. A man continues to lie until he is written as a liar with Allah."

حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا جَرِيرٌ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ مُجَاهِدٍ، عَنْ أَبِي مَعْمَرٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ قَالَ‏:‏ لاَ يَصْلُحُ الْكَذِبُ فِي جِدٍّ وَلاَ هَزْلٍ، وَلاَ أَنْ يَعِدَ أَحَدُكُمْ وَلَدَهُ شَيْئًا ثُمَّ لاَ يُنْجِزُ لَهُ‏.‏

387. 'Abdullah said, "Lying is not correct, neither in seriousness nor in jest. None of you should promise his child something and then not give it to him."